Zura's Tales
by KyaChann
Summary: "A brave Samurai and his two partners in crime, were running away from the *yamete yamete yamete* Villains… THE SHINSENGUMI!" Katsura exclaimed. Finally Gintoki could get a free day from Kagura and Shinpachi, but unfortunately it doesn't go the way he tought it would. First the two annoying brats - two OCs - appear and then the annoying master Zura. How will this madness end?


"..." Reading Shounen Jump.

"..." Watching TV, while their heads tilted to the left following the whiskers' ninja. [1]

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... OI WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU TWO HERE!?" Gintoki slammed his Shounen Jump on the top of his desk.

"I basically live here~" The red head turned herself to the silver haired samurai, with a big grin placed on her lips.

"And~ I'm her partner in crime~" Said the brown head with her infamous 'neko smile'.

The two girls exchanged a glance, nodding to each other and then both of them grinned. "And~ we love you Gin-Chan~"

"We love you Gin-Chan~" Gintoki clapped his hands together making a girly voice, trying to mimic the two girls "MY ASS! You two always bring troubles!"

Sure thing, since Gintoki met these two girls, he's always having troubles in a way or another thanks to them. He could actually number all the problems they gave him, if these weren't so many! Let's be honest if the world was waiting, for them, to be saved from an attack of Sephiroth[16] while he was looking for his 'mother', the world would be screwed and destroyed.

"Oi Gin-Chan~ you're sounding like a grandpa is your age finally catching your truck? After all... your hair is already that white~" Ria, the brown haired girl, smirked evilly. The sadist.

Kyara frowned slightly, looking at Gintoki with a disgusted face "Oh… Gin-chan… I thought that you were just 20's… I didn't know you were like Kame-*beep* [2] from *beep* Ball [3]… Now I feel dirty, after all the nights we had!" The redhead whined, placing her hand on her chest in a dramatic way.

"OI! I was born like this! And I AM 20's! EH!? WHAT NIGHTS!? WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE DAYS! And why did you censored 'Dragon' and not 'Ball' the way you said it… JUST MAKES YOU THE PERVERT ONE!" Gintoki shouted, while freaking out.

"Gintoki who are you calling pervert?" Someone said.

"This voice and this theme song… Oh no…" Gintoki facepalmed… hard. Like really, his 5 fingers were tattooed all over his face.

"ZURA!" The two girls hugged the long hair samurai, what made him let out a soft chuckle.

"Oi Zura-"

"Zura ja nai, Katsura da"

"-what are you doing here?" Gintoki completed his question.

"I was playing hide and peek!" Katsura answered with a grin.

Kyara and Ria pouted, while Gintoki sweat dropped. "Uh uh and with who?" he asked just because.

"With Shinsengumi" Immediate answer.

"WHAT!? When I want to play with Hijikata he always shouts 'GET OUT OF HERE!'" Kyara pouted.

Ria nodded frenetically. "Yeah, it's almost the same as Sougo, but usually we end up trying to kill Hijikata! And he doesn't really shouts he's too lazy for that" She shrugged.

"OUCH!" Gintoki smacked the girls' heads.

"Etto~ Zura-kun-"

"Zura ja nai, Katsura da" Katsura pointed out.

"-hide and peek… MY ASS! AND WHY ARE YOU HERE!?" Gintoki shouted getting a 'little' angry.

"Oh, I'll explain it with a story!" Katsura clapped his hands excited.

"Yeah!" The two girls exclaimed immediately.

"You two SHUT UP! And stop talking at the same time! Stop trying to be like the Ouran Club[15]'s twins! You're not even sisters!" Gintoki said pointing at the two idiot girls.

"Yes we are! We just have different mothers" Kyara said.

"And different birth dates" Ria nodded in self agreement.

Gintoki, once again, facepalmed and let out a groan "Why me… When I finally have a free day from Kagura and Patsuan… First these two appear and then this idiot too!"

"Idiot ja nai! Katsura da!" Katsura chuckled. "So once upon a time-"

The two girls' eyes started to shine, while Gintoki just sighed and sat down listening to Katsura, like he had another choice.

"A brave Samurai and his two partners in crime, were running away from the *yamete yamete yamete* [4] Villains… THE SHINSENGUMI!" Katsura exclaimed in a heroic way.

Gintoki looked at his hand about to facepalm his owner once again. "OI! You're just bad mouthing Shinsukebe[5]! And why did you just use the same censure of Tokyo Encounter[4]!? Besides… if you were running with two partners, WHY YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE HERE!?"

"AH! Ria and Kyara are here, so I can't just say bad words in front of them!" Katsura nodded in self agreement.

Hearing this, both girls pouted. Katsura was always treating them like they were two little kids, sometimes it was a good thing, especially when he would give them candy or pay for things that they wanted, but other times was just annoying.

Gintoki groaned "Oh yeah? And what about- wait I don't wanna know!"

"Gintoki don't ruin the story! I'll explain everything!" Katsura nodded "So, how I was saying our brave heroes Ria, Kyara and me have a very important mission… to defeat the Shinsengumi! Cause we are… THE KATSURA ANGE-[6]"

PAW! Dynamic Entry[7] in Katsura was applied!

"IDIOT! Since when this two were with you!? And stop copping other series' names! They'll hate us even more!" Gintoki shouted after applying the Dynamic Entry in Katsura's Face.

"Gin-chan! We really were with him!" Ria said, trying to take Katsura out from the wall.

"Oh yeah? You were here since this morning, annoying the living hell in me! What are you going to say!? You all know Kagebunshin no Jutsu[8]!?" The idiot trio gasped.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW!?" Katsura, Ria and Kyara shouted in surprise.

Gintoki sat down defeated, trying to keep is cool and not face palm.

"So our brave heroes were running away from Shinsengumi and, while I was opening the way, Ria was taking care of the sadist and Kyara of the Mayo Freak-" Katsura felt a glare coming from the red head girl "Ahem… K-Kyara was taking care of the vice commander ahahahah"

Kyara smiled what made Katsura sweat dropped in relief. Girls can be scary…

"So while we were running the 'srowry'[9] director Matsudaira shouted 'catch them and bring the girls to become famous singers![10]'" That was it Gintoki face palmed.

"Oi… Zura-"

"Zura ja nai Katsura da"

"Just because the head master in Uta no Prince Sama and Matsudaira are voiced by Wakamoto-san… IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON! DON'T TURN THIS INTO UTA NO PRINCE! They're not even part of Shounen Jump! They're gonna hate us too!" Gintoki looked out of the window to make sure there weren't any fangirls ready to kill them, thanks to Zura.

"This is not Uta no Prince Gintoki! Don't rush things!" Katsura sighed "How I was saying, after hearing that we run to a ship and then… we were all pirates!"

"NOW IT'S ONE PIECE! WE'RE ALL SCREWED! HOW THE FUCK YOU ALL BECOME PIRATES OUT OF-" He stopped yelling, because shouting was not enough for this kind of situation. "Forget it, really, I don't care… I don't care at all!" Gintoki laid on his couch in agony.

"Easy Gintoki we're almost reaching the good part!" Katsura chuckled, what made Gintoki even more desperate.

"Oi Hijikata-san do you think, if I use my bazooka like this, I'll be able to fly?" Kyara asked Ria, while she was cosplaying as Sougo, with a bazooka between her legs pointing at the ground.

"Don't be stupid Sougo!" Ria hit Kyara's head, cosplaying as Hijikata.

Gintoki stayed quiet, watching, but inside… he was killing himself.

"Good job Ria-chan, Kyara-chan!" Katsura applauded "And then we saw Jack Sparrow[11] running! What caused the perfect distraction to our heroes catch the clouds and enter in the Kingdom of Laputa[12]! With Jackie Chan[13]'s help! And his NASAL HAIR POWER[14]!" A sudden shine appeared in Katsura's eyes, while he was continuing his tale.

"OI ARU! I WANT TO HEAR THAT STORY ARU!" Kagura shouted, sitting on the corpse that was laying 'dead' on the couch.

"Yeah! Join us and I'll restart" A big smiled appeared in Katsura's face while he was laughing softly. Not every day he could tell his stories, he could but Elizabeth would fell asleep so it wasn't funny.

"AHHHHH!" The corpse… ahem.. Gintoki screamed looking around. Everything was dark, he got up slowly and looked out the window just to make sure. Yeah it was still night time. "Ahahahahahah… it was all a dream Ahahahah-" Something touched his leg.

He slowly turned his head down "C-calm d-down Gintoki… M-man up ahahahaha!"

When his head was completely turned down he could see it, a big black thing wrapped around his legs "Are you sure it was just a dream?" Katsura and Jackie with his nasal hair asked.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

**A/N: **So basically I used a lot of.. erh.. things here, so I'm going to name them all :)

Hope you liked it.. this was kinda of a dream I had sometime ago. Yeah.. I tried to correct it the best I could but every time I read it I get even more confuse grammatically... so yeah... this may have a lot of mistakes I'm sorry..

**Parodies: **

**[1] - whiskers' ninja** - I believe everyone knows Naruto

**[2] - Kame-*beep* **- Kame-Sennin, character from Dragon Ball, you know the old pervert one... yeah...

**[3] - *beep* Ball **- Dragon Ball

**[4] - *yamete yamete yamete*/Tokyo ecounter **- If you watch Tokyo Encounter you noticed this is the censure they use.. especially when Sugita-san's talking X3 just go watch it... seriously go watch it!

**[5] - Shinsukebe** - Sukebe means pervert

**[6] - THE KATSURA ANGE-** - Charlie Angels xp

**[7] - Dynamic Entry - **Taijutsu from Naruto usually used by Lee and Guy... the two idiots xp

**[8] - Kagebunshin no Jutsu **- A jutsu also from Naruto usually used by Naruto himself.

**[9] - srowry** - Now I laughed my ass off when Saotome, the principal from Uta no Prince, said this like reallyyyyyy slowly as well xp

**[10] - 'catch them and bring the girls to become famous singers!' **- And since Saotome and Matsudaira's Seiyuu is the same (Wakamoto-san) I thought why not and made a parody of this xp

**[11] - Jack Sparrow** - The main character of Pirates of the Caribbean :)

**[12] - Kingdom of Laputa **- basically from this _Tenkū no Shiro Rapyuta, _or alo known as _Laputa: Castle in the Sky_

**[13] - Jackie Chan** -I had to bring him up in this oneshot I mean Zura loves him so much xp

**[14] - NASAL HAIR POWER **-If I remember correctly this is the power of the Main character in Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and well... Jackie has a pretty big nose xp

**[15] - Ouran Club's** - And a parody of Ouran High School Host Club.

**[16] - Sephiroth **- And finally! A character from Final Fantasy VII


End file.
